Constant feeling

Millions of people along with myself are dealing with this everyday. Suffering. Struggling.
I am talking about the “after”. The time after your assault, rape, etc.
This time lasts for the rest of our lives as victims.
The first stage (usually right after the incident) is an extremely emotional state for most. I like to call it the grieving period. I call it this because it is a constant feeling of loss. I felt as if I lost who I was (which is common) because I felt as if my rapist stole that from me. The grieving period can last months to years depending on each person and situation.
After that, it quickly hits that this is something you will have to deal with for the rest of your life. That is something I really wished that more people understood, we can not just get over our rape. It does not disappear from our thoughts after a few months. We are constantly struggling because of what happened, even after years. For me, it took about a year to really believe and understand that I will be struggling with this for the rest of my life. YES, it does get better! But it is a scarring event that stays with us victims.
One thing that was extremely tough for me and I am sure many other, was after my rape people constantly checked in on me to make sure I was okay and that really helped. But after about three or four weeks, that was over. It was like everyone forgot it happened and expected me to just be normal again, but I wasn’t. I am still not “normal”. That was extremely tough because I then felt completely alone because everyone else “forgot”.

If there was one thing I wish you would get from this blog is: Being raped does not just affect you for a few months, it affects you for the rest of your life.

Please share this post to get to as many people as possible, both victims to show they are not alone and others to show them what it is like for their friends/family.

Love and Blessings,



I decided to take this account in a different direction.

I will now be blogging about what it is like being a recovering victim in this cruel world.

This account will be extremely honest, brutal, and hopefully eye opening to all who are uneducated about this topic.

Please share this account in as many ways as possible because I know there are millions of men and women out there who will really benefit from reading some of my posts and stories.

My goal is to show as many people as possible that this world is a harsh place for victims and how there are certain things to always avoid doing or saying.
As well as to show every victims that I come across, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Im Back

I was gone for a while
the reason is harsh
the place I’ve been in is low
to say the least.

I had given up
on me,
on life,
on the world.

I stopped my music,
I stopped my smiles,
I stopped caring about everything.

I was in a place of absolute
To say I was scared constantly
was an understatement.

Then, I hit bottom.
I began to hear this voice
this voice in my head

It was telling me terrifying things
I was constantly being told that
my rapist was in the room.
That he was behind me.
I was being told to end my life.
That I was ruining everything
and to just stop.

Even though I was being told these things
I knew them as false.
I never thought that my life was worthless
but I wasn’t in the place to fight for myself.

I needed help.
I needed a plan to get better.

I am still searching.

But none the less
I am back.